Alcock’s Autobiography 1.2
3 May 2011
What happened with her would happen and had happened with others. But male egotism had blinded me to the pattern. Once I discovered the trick she played on me, and thought about other situations with lovers, I began to see how it had reoccurred again and again, a pattern of being cheated by the very woman with whom I was sharing an intense affair. It was the contradiction between an odd reaction to ‘little Alcock’ and a passionate response to my core, the man without a name. It was a juxtaposition of belittling reactions to the size of my member with her expressed desire to prolong the (erotic) friendship. Note that until the beginning of my second and last marriage, all my close relationships with young women were erotic. I was simply incapable of seeing them in any other light. But, until I began to see the pattern and review those old loves, the pastime of an old man, I would notice only the latter half of the picture— the attraction, the seduction, the dance.
